Pregnancy disturbs me. More specifically, the notion of me being pregnant seems incredibly unnatural and wrong. Yet I would like biological children for a number of reasons*. I feel like in this realm, I have a certain amount of gender dis-whatever. That's the level of discomfort I have with it. Part of me concedes that this might be transient--maybe when I'm older, it'll seem like a more natural notion--but then I'm faced with the limits of female fertility. And then it's hard not to get upset all over again at the realities of the world and how I'm supposed to come to grips with these notions in a limited amount of time and that even then, there are no guarantees.
But this (http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100224102220.htm) seems hopeful. I mean, if you extrapolate. Could one have part of one's ovaries removed pre-"natural"-menopause and then reinserted in the future, if one decided one wanted to produce eggs again? Because this seems more promising than the whole freezing eggs thing (my understanding is it doesn't really work) and more open-ended than embryos (because that's part of the decision to not make).
Really, I just don't like the idea of not having options, or of closing doors. I especially don't like deadlines and time limits. Or inequality, even if it's biologically determined, and especially when it leads to evils such as:
old mothers getting much more condemnation than old fathers
women having to wake up at night
stretch marks
no drinking
hormonal changes
pain
nausea
having another human being growing inside one (I'm not particularly fond of even having organs)
expectations
The end.
* Mostly political. I really don't know if I could abide with a self-centered, Republican child. And politics, political involvement, and other related tendencies seem to be more genetically determined than previously thought.
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